Ooh…You Shouldn’t Have Done That

wanting to get high with no money is a bad feeling.

so like all bad feelings, i turn to my good old friend “craigslist”. why not?
was it soliciting sex for weed, maybe. but i got high didn’t i, and i myself didn’t even have to fuck anyone.

my friend did.

so yesterday, all day, me and my friend were talking about how we were going to get ’sooo high’ how we were going to smoke, and drink and shit this weekend. the talking was good. but the fact was, that actually happening was kind of bleak. it wasn’t happening. first off, her ass is always broke (free-loading heifer!), second of all, i was broke, and third of all, are asses were broke as shit. so, it wasn’t happening. i mean, i got a couple of dollars, but not that im going to waste on weed (i mean, i do use public transportation when responding to booty-calls, how would a girl get home?)

so i told my roommate that i could get us some weed, BUT, in the process, she would have to sleep with someone for it.

her thoughts at the time was “i don’t give a fuck, just get me some weed and i’ll be all set, and we’ll just leave”…i’m just saying to myself, ‘don’t fuck this up if we do it’….so, i made a posting, showed a picture of her ass, and BAM, a message came in like five minutes- than it got flagged =/.

but it was alright, we only needed one person anyways, so we responded, and told him he gets some weed, we’ll come. (he thought he was fucking both of us at the same time, i was just the body guard- for the weed!)
so, we email him like one more time, and say, ‘alright’ and tell him to call, he says we would have to come out there, because he has coke, and weed, and doesn’t want to be caught with it, so we call a cab.
cab never shows up.
we stand on the corner of the street looking like prostituites, waiting for a cab.
cab doesn’t stop.
then we call him back, and he calls us a cab, and fortunately, within 45 minutes, a cab shows up. this cab driver was crazy by the way. i mean, literally crazy. we gave him the address, and a short cut way to go, and he goes some other fucking route, and then when we tell him our “friend” is paying for the cab, he yells at us to stay in. i was scared at this point.
i was not looking to be raped by afrikan bambaataa ( that word is funny). so i tell him, “she’s going to get out of the cab, and im going to wait here, therefore one of would still be here incase we ‘run off’” he steady yelling at us to not move, and stay in the cab. we needed to find this dude so he could fucking pay, and then here he came, walking down the street with like a sean-penn-attitude-walk, and he goes up to the cab driver and curses him out. it was funny shit really. but i was just too busy looking at the guy, he was fucking sexy and had some pretty blue eyes.

i never turned down a fuck in my life (anything before twenty doesn’t count)
we went up to his room, and he gave us a beer, and then we talked about some weird shit i don’t remember, and then he said which one am i going to fuck? or is it both of you. i pointed to my friend and said “that’s all you” i’m not fucking tonight, i got someone (even though i don’t really have someone, but i am supposed to have a all-day fuck fest on sunday, and ya know, i need my stamina!) so she looks at me like…ummm…no im not. and im like yea, you said you wanted some weed, and that you were horny, now you’re here, fucking do it….!

so i guess to get her comfortable, he pulls out some coke for her. she wanted coke anyways, but i sort of felt bad, since i know her drug history, and she’s been clean for a year, until last night. oh well.

so they’re in there sniffing coke. man, i only thought that shit was from movies, cause boy oh boy, it didnt look as fun to do as it did in scarface. but anyways, they’re doing that, and then he starts playing with her bobbs. i mean, this dude was weird, or just coked out- oh well, i was getting weed out of it for not doing shit, so he could bang those babies like congoes all he wants. so after a while, hes still asking me if i want to fuck him, or if i want to be involved in like a threesome, and other shit, and im like no. than he tells me i could wait in the hallway.

i waited in the hallway, and my ass was falling asleep, cause i was high as a kite on that weed, i think it was spiked. but anyways, i waited in his hallway, which had no chairs, and he had no living room either, and i waited in the kitchen (going in between rooms) and all i could hear is them fucking.

all i have to say to that, is that he had a pencil dick, and im glad i didn’t fuck him. but i could’ve used a hand or so…or a mouth.